“Eventually, I sickened of people, myself included, who don’t think enough of themselves to make something of themselves–people who did only what they had to and never what they could have done. I learned from them the infected loneliness that comes at the end of every misspent day. I knew I could do better.”
- Mark Twight
“Jesus is my virtue,
Judas is the demon…but I’m still in love with Judas.”
- Lady Gaga
Are you the kind of person who wants to be effective in life, or not? Whether you and I want to be a rockstar, a viral video maker, a teacher, a mom, a dad, a professional photographer…we all realize that we need to take certain steps in order to accomplish those goals. And so, this post is about the problems that arise when we only allow others into certain parts of our lives. It is about goals, and others, and whether or not the prospect of actually expressing those goals to others, might be worthwhile, in the hope that they can help…in a very specific area. Just ask yourself, who actually can call me to account for any, and everything, I do? Is there anyone?
Seems to me that there are two parts of our personal lives that we let people know about, to the detriment of other parts of our own lives.
1) It seems to me that individuals will allow others into parts of their own life that are under control, this is inherently a problem because we obviously don’t need help in areas that are under control…which leads to the next point…
2) They only let people into parts of their life that are acceptable and readily understood in society.
So, let’s assess these claims.
As to point #1, it’s obvious that if you are an alcoholic you will probably try to hide it. It is obvious that if you are bulimic, you will not just stick your finger down your throat in front of others after a meal. These are internal problems, and obviously not readily apparent to those around us. However, how much of what is “in control” only appears in control in our lives because we don’t consider them to be the kinds of things that we need any help with…which leads toooo….
Point #2, it is not readily understood in society that we need to be responsible with certain things…first example- MONEY. In fact, it is a taboo area of conversation to talk about one’s finances, and most likely shouldn’t be. Americans are up to their ears in debt and wasteful spending and yet it remains something undiscussed. The other side of this point, is that, as non-profits get more profitable, it is very in-fashion right now to give money to good causes- in foreign countries- and to seem like a good person compared to others based on these “contributions” to orphans, third world water wells, a certain brand of buy-one-pair-give-one-pair shoes, etc.. Now, notice that it is acceptable to call someone on alcoholism, bulimia, adultery, etc. within society. But, when was the last time that you would’ve called someone on their use of money?
A better, and 2nd, example may be use of time. It seems that a lot of my friends want to accomplish much in life, and yet they would be extremely uncomfortable with anyone ever asking about their use of time. Your time is a resource, and should be viewed as one, but quick question…do you spend your time wisely? Why or why not?
2 questions should arise from these thoughts:
1) Would/Could/Should I be able to talk to someone about holding me accountable as to how I use my money, time, leisure, etc.?
2) Who would I trust to call me to account on these things?
So, there’s a woulda-coulda-shoulda and a Who?
Now, within the Christians sphere it is always ok for guys (and gals I presume) to keep each other accountable as to sexual things, relationships, job stuff, family stuff, but it is extremely unheard of to ask someone else whether they are being faithful with the entirety of their time and with the entirety of their money….according to my married friends this is just as much of an ignored topic in their relationships to other married couples. It is in fact the hidden part of most accountability groups in my experience, because it is not something that young people are known for misusing. Why are they not know for misusing it? Because they have no responsibility to other individuals…no kids, no spouse, and no constraints…except the really involved parent sometimes! If they are married, often they just convince their spouse that they are working harder, using their time better, or spending their money on all the appropriate things…at least compared to the Jones’s! So, for young people in general, introspection is ignored and hence any accountability is never had.
Which brings us to Lady Gaga…she is willing to enter into the idea that she suffers from “Akrasia” which was a term Aristotle used to describe a weakness of will-power. In other words, Gaga knows the right things to do, date, spend, and look-for-in-relationships; and life…but she remains in love with Judas. I think that some of us remain in love Judas, and that “Judas” is that our finances, time, and other resources belong to us. It’s ok for others to call us to account for the common christian topics, or even friendly topics within the world, but when will we start to question the hard stuff; or allow others to question the hard stuff for us? The stuff that makes us uncomfortable and sometimes out of control? When will we have enough courage to introspect and realize what are own areas of Akrasia are?…what is our Judas?
I think this post started with the fact that in my own life, no one asks me about my finances and time, and yet I have goals, and probably will not attain them if no one ever asks if I am actualizing things that lead to these goals…who knows, maybe I should just watch X-Factor and SportsCenter like most Americans…forget about Introspection, and goals, and remain in love with Judas. What do you think about introspection, GaGa, and Goals?
